Friday, May 18, 2012

A Poopy Morning

Have you ever had someone snap on you for no apparent reason, over something insignificant? Ever had the thought "Jeez, I wonder who pissed in their Cheerios?" Or how about this, ever snapped back for the sole reason that "they started it"? This is an interesting era we live in, where people feel the old saying 'an eye for an eye' is standard practice rather that just a phrase. Our first instinct when someone is chewing our head off is to chew back, irregardless of what the issue is really about. Both parties feel they're right, end of story.

But what if it's not the 'end of story'? Let's back up the truck here a bit while I tell you a tale. One fine Spring morning our character, we'll call him Mr. X, woke up late for work by jumping out of bed and into a pile of dog poop. Nice way to start the morning, eh? But just wait, it gets even better.

Hopping on one foot to avoid getting dog poop on the carpeting, he hops into the master bathroom, stubbing his toe on the door joint. Switching feet, Mr. X is now hopping around on the tiled bathroom room howling in pain, poopy foot prints making an intricate pattern across the floor. Finally, he manages to take a seat on the toilet to assess the situation. Only his oldest son, Robbie, left the toilet seat up the evening before and Mr. X falls in.

With a soggy butt, poopy foot and stubbed toe, Mr. X climbs into the shower, jammies and all, to get cleaned up. Finally, he's dressed and downstairs for some coffee and breakfast. Except there's no bread to make toast or milk for cereal, and his wife brewed and drank the last of the coffee before she left for the day. Instead, Mr. X downs a glass of tap water and a saltine cracker before he heads out the door.

Climbing into his car, he puts the key in the ignition and turns it, only to find his car won't start. He'd left the headlights on all night and the battery was dead. Having no other options, he borrows his daughter's bright pink Jeep Wrangler. Mr. X is finally on his way to work and relishes the thought of stopping at the corner Starbucks to grab a cup of coffee before heading in to the office. A block from the office, his plans are derailed when he hits a traffic jam that takes twenty minutes to clear.

Now over an hour late for work, Mr. X finally arrives to the office. Taking the elevator up to the second floor, coffeeless and a slight dog poop odor still clinging, he waits while the doors slide open before stepping off empty office. It's then that it dawns on him. It's Saturday, his day off. The only person working today is Harry, the cleaning guy, who is shuffling down the hall towards him, towing his cart of cleaning supplies behind.

"Good day to you Mr. X, fancy seeing you here on a Saturday," he calls out, to which Mr. X curtly responds, "Good day my ass. Can you tell me what's so good about it?"
Not waiting for an answer, he turns on his heel and gets back into the elevator. Harry shakes his head, mumbling to himself, "Jeez, who pissed in his Cheerios?"

The moral of the story? The next time someone is irate and chewing your head off for no apparent reason, try and cut them some slack. They may have started out their day by stepping in dog poop.


  1. lol This is a great article and a fine reminder to have compassion for those that have rough days. When I worked in the pharmacy so many folks would get soooo upset about no refills or insurance issues and sometimes they would snap at rarely failed that later that day I would get an apology phone call or even one in person. I would always say, "It's okay, one day you may need to forgive me." :)

  2. Amy - great post - you are right. I know in my job I see people having bad days all the time - we have to cut them some slack - it can be hard when they are trying to chew your head off with dull teeth, but you have to learn to grin and bare it.

  3. Working in a medical office I get my fair share of butt chewings myself, so I can relate. Thnx ladies!

  4. I hope to blazes this is not a true story! It sounds like something from The Three Stooges, except better. Poor Mr. X! And point well taken about people snapping at each other. In this huge city we tend to be polite by reflex, so that rarely happens.